It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
