belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
