At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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