she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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