He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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