Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
