I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
