you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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