It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
