why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
