Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
