I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
