im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
