I don't think brook has ever known best
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
