We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
