She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
you made out with another girl for some wings
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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