So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
