At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
