My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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