Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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