Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
