Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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