A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
