We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
