There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
