I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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