The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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