Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I am naked and annoyed.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
