we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I think people are normalizing furries
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