love makes seman taste better
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
ttyl tear gas
I wish there were birth control emojis
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
