I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
