THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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