Acid is not a monday night drug
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
