Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
