Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
we made out on top of his cat.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
