Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
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