well you can't waste a boner
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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