I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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