what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
