Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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