I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
