giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
