there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
