I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
