chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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