you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
