cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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