Your tits are I can't wait for
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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