So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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