very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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