I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
